Thursday, September 29, 2022

 Oh, my poor neglected blog 😄 I don't I'think anyone but me knows it even exists, so I'm the only person to blame for neglecting it. I thought I would have such profound 'observations' to share, but I haven't pulled any of those profound ideas together. In my head I have, but not in action.

So, I'll do better. I want to; I need to. I love to write and even if no one else reads my observations, I want to learn from them.

Here's to future thoroughly enlightening blogs!😁💥💪💕🙌🙇🙆💨💦💫💬

(I understand the appeal of petroglyphs, hieroglyphics, and symbols)

Thursday, November 2, 2017

The Script

I was born with an active imagination. 

Fortunately, I was also born to a mother who fostered that imagination. She read to me, and allowed me to transform my room and other places in our home into fictitious places. She indulged my strange ideas like eating from a wooden spoon when I wanted to be Caddie Woodlawn, or pretend I was on the TV show 'Daniel Boone'. She let me turn my half of the bedroom I shared with my little sister into an apartment complete with my Easy Bake oven and a bowl of water to act as a sink. I amassed a large collection of Breyer's horse statues thanks to a love of horses that partially came from reading everything Marguerite Henry ever wrote, and I played with those horses same way other girls played with dolls or Barbies. I dressed really weird - as in legs through the arm holes of my shirts, and robes tied around my waist to create a formal gown. I talked to people who weren't there.

As I grew into my preteen and teen years, I channeled that imagination into an obsession with reading, and wanting to be an actress. The biggest problem with both of those is that I spent more time in an imaginary world than the real one. That was somewhat understandable: my home life was kind of rough. The stage, and worlds created in books, provided a safe haven; a place where I could be someone else.

The difficulty with acting was that I had no talent. As much as I wanted to get lost in the role of a character, I was just too aware of myself to get lost in being someone else. I'm sure there's a metaphor or message in that somewhere...I did get to play a main role as Princess Pea Green in our 9th grade musical.[Just an FYI, my singing ability was even more scant than my acting ability which lets you know how classy our junior high musical was.] The rest of my junior high and high school years I was given parts in 'the crowd' - the background people with no lines,but dressed to be in character. I was okay with that; I just wanted to be on stage.

Books were easier to get lost in. I could go far away, yet be home in an instant [at least physically anyway] when it was time to do chores, homework, or eat dinner. I was the star, the main character, the heroine. It was empowering.

Until I had to function in the 'real world'. 

I felt lost in the real world. So many times I wished someone would hand me a script so I would know what I was supposed to say when a teacher called on me in class, or I wanted talk to a boy I thought was cute, or stand up for myself when I got pushed around. I didn't know how. I was a quiet, reclusive kid whose majority of conversations took place in her imagination. I could think of witty banter, but actually saying it...psssh. When I tried I spoke too fast, my cheeks flushed pink, and I always said something stupid.

Characters in books or on stage never had problems like that. They always knew what to say or do. They knew what came next because it was right there in front of them in written or memorized form. And the other characters in the story also had their dialogue written for them. Every one knew what to say, and when, so the story worked out just right.

I didn't know how to come up with words on my own unless I was reading, writing, or reciting them. 

In theater if you forget your lines there is a prompter off to the side of the stage to help you remember what you're supposed to say. 

A book has the whole story written out, and if you get anxious about what's happening with the plot, you can skip to the end of the chapter, or even the end of the book [which I did with every Nancy Drew mystery I ever read, and many other stories] to find out how conflicts get resolved.

Real life doesn't have prompters; we can't skip ahead in the chapters of our life to see how, or if, things work out. 

Darn it.

However, we still have the starring role, and all of the responsibility that goes with it. We are the main character in our story. Fortunately, it doesn't matter if we do strange things like put our legs through the arm holes of our shirts, or eat with a wooden spoon, or sputter when we speak because we're not performing; we're living. 

What we don't know, we learn to do. Not knowing the future helps us develop faith in God who does know all. Sometimes we say and do stupid things and we have to 'un' say them with apologies, and seek forgiveness. Sometimes we mess up - most main characters do. Sometimes we're the 'bad guy'; sometimes the hero/ine. Our characters flaws make us likable and real. Hopefully, we're having fun.

Life can be likened to a book with chapters, or scenes and acts in a play. But, unlike a character in a book, or a play, whose story is fixed and stationary, we continually evolve. We aren't ever just one thing; we have many roles. We're the same character with many life stories. And one thing I've learned over and over again is the show must go on, and life stories seem to write themselves.

I've never outgrown my vivid imagination. Now I write stories inspired by things I've learned over 50+ years. I make sure the characters have plenty of conflict - I want them to learn from life experiences and grow into stronger characters. I still love the theater, but haven't  been in a 'real' play for more than thirty years. Instead I've been blessed to play the best role ever - being a mom.

There are still plenty of times when I still wish someone would hand me a script, or I could look ahead to know if things turn out all right.Life has a way of throwing things at me that I'm not sure how I'm supposed to handle. There are a lot of things I wish I could delete.

In the meantime, I keep on playing the role I was given, and writing the story of my life. I'll be here until final curtain call, or the Author and Finisher of life says, "The End." 

What is your life story?





 Oh, my poor neglected blog 😄 I don't I'think anyone but me knows it even exists, so I'm the only person to blame for neglectin...